Whatever…..
That word is all I can do to explain how I feel anymore. I fell into a pit of despair not too long ago and I fear I never really escaped its grasp. I long for the embrace of this despair, because it would remind me of something I lost dear to me. I fear it also, because it would consume me and I would probably never be the same again. I do not know if it would matter for I am never going to be the same again as I sit here smoking and watching the embers slowly get closer to me. Hoping they would consume me and end this torment I must endure every day.